Intention to Action

New Years Day I woke up all excited to get 2025 started on the right foot with my new goals for the year. I did qi gong on the back deck with the sunrise (goal = get healthy). I read a chapter of a science book (goal = finish my manuscript). Then I connected with my family over breakfast (goal = quality time with the people I love).

Yay New Year! Yay New Goals! Yay fresh start!

But then on January 3rd it began... that unmotivated, procrastinate-y, "maybe I bit off more than I can chew" feeling. All my best intentions started slipping. Mindlessly scrolling on my phone or a few more minutes in bed seemed so tempting. How will I ever I turn my big goals into consistent new habits if I'm already waffling just 3 days in?

If you’re like me, tenaciously struggling to hold onto your New Year’s Resolutions and big goals, keep reading! This newsletter offers several resources to support you.

STORY: How to move from goals to actions.

READ MORE: Resources and videos to help make your dreams for the year come true.

BOOK STUFF: Join us for a conversation about The Transcendent Brain by Alan Lightman on January 30 and February 27, 2025, at 4 pm PST.. 

GOING FURTHER: Events coming your way! 

• January 16 - Intention to Action Workshop FREE on zoom

• April 25-28 - Heroine’s Journey Women’s Leadership Retreat (Hurry! Early bird registration ends January 31st)

STORY: HOW TO MOVE FROM GOALS TO ACTIONS

Last we left off, I had set a one word touchstone for the year: Gardener. My intention is to cultivate spaces where people and things can grow. Plant lots of seeds. Give them sunlight, water, and time. 

It’s really fun, lovely, and easy to visualize all the lovely things I want to manifest this year: a completed manuscript, exceptional individual and team coaching, quality time with family and friends, launching my first born to college, several keynotes and professional trainings, intentional community service, and staying healthy and centered at the heart of it all. I even diagrammed out a metaphorical “garden layout” for all of these lovely flowers to grow, kinda like a garden-themed vision board for my year. 

But goal setting and goal achievement are totally different things. One is all airy fairy dreams. The other is concrete, boots on the ground, dirt under your nails, sweat in your eyes, work. Hard work. Good work.

My favorite quote from Jane Goodall is about hope:

“Hope is often misunderstood. People tend to think that it is simply passive wishful thinking: I hope something will happen but I’m not going to do anything about it. This is indeed the opposite of real hope, which requires action and engagement.”

So how do you get over the activation barrier to get started on realizing those dreams, and once you do, how do you keep going? Whatever your goals for the year might be, here’s three research-backed ways to help turn your best intentions into action. Here’s how to create hope and stay hopeful all year long. 

Connect to a larger purpose

Part of my problem when it comes to big goals is my perfectionism -- my desire to go BIG with every goal and do it "right". A goal like "complete my manuscript" makes me think I need to chain myself to my desk for several hours and crank out 1000 words a day. It’d better be really good copy too! None of this sh$%ty first draft business.

Not surprisingly, I easily get discouraged going BIG. One day of 999 words makes it feel like the whole thing is pointless. Rereading the previous day’s writing makes me want to burn the whole thing and give up. Nothing is ever good enough.

A solution to that problem is to connect each goal with an identity that I'm trying to grow into, then identify simple, easy, super-achievable actions that prove to myself that I'm living up to that identity. Research conducted at the University of Bath by Bas Verplanken and Jie Sui suggests that habits which are more closely tied to deeply rooted values and beliefs activate cognitive, emotional AND motivational circuits in the brain. When habits reinforce “who you really are as a person” the result is greater self-integration, higher self-esteem, and an increased desire to work towards an ideal self. 

To take advantage of this finding, I can shift the Goal: Get healthy into a deeply rooted Identity: I'm a healthy middle-aged woman who takes good care of her body. And then I identify a super easy, do-able Habit: Do one active thing like qi gong, a walk, or gardening every day. Now, every time I go for a walk or do qi gong I’m proving to myself that that identity is true. My self-esteem rises and my desire to keep doing it grows.

Goal: Complete my manuscript. →

Identity: I'm a scientist storyteller.

Habit: Spend 10 minutes reading or writing something book-related every day.

Goal: Quality time. →  

Identity: I'm a good mom, wife, and friend.

Habit: Put my phone in another room when I'm with people I love.

I was talking to a client about this yesterday and their goal of reducing overwhelm as a manager shifts to leaning into the identity of being a great mentor and teacher. A super easy, simple, achievable habit is not jumping in to do it for someone who needs help but instead offering advice and support so they can be empowered to do it themselves. "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." Every success is proof that the identity is true. And missing one day doesn't make it untrue.

Cultivate good habits (and drop the bad ones)

This brings us to the subject of cultivating good habits. Notice that all of the habits above are simple things that take 10 minutes or less to do. I’m not chaining myself to my desk. I’m not quitting my day job. 

Psychologists define “habit” as a behavior pattern that happens automatically in response to a given environmental trigger. Habits are an if-then kind of thing.

Habit: Trigger → Response → Reward.

A meta-analysis of intention to action research suggests that the best “triggers” are events in the day that you already have to do like getting out of bed, making coffee, brushing your teeth, going to work, eating lunch, or picking the kids up from school. For instance:

Habit: Go out to check on my ducks → Add on something active before coming inside → Reinforce my identity as a healthy middle aged woman who takes care of her body.

Habit: It’s time to make and eat dinner → Leave my phone in its charger in the office or bedroom → Reinforce my identity as a good mom, wife and friend.

Habit: Walk into my home office → 10 minutes to read or write → Reinforce my identity as a scientist storyteller.

And if you can’t readily link your habit to something you already do every day, set an alarm on your phone to go off at a certain time every day. One of my clients with the goal of better mindfulness set a 90 minute phone timer to remind him to stop and breathe regularly all through the day.

Another tip is to shape your environment to support your new habit. This morning, I rearranged my office to cultivate a super cozy, inviting, tech-free reading nook to read and do research. My books are right there next to a stack of index cards. There’s a coaster waiting to receive my morning tea. When I walk into my office, that chair is the first thing I see, and it’s far more comfy and inviting than my desk. 

I’m setting myself up for success by making my new habit as obvious, rewarding, and inviting as possible.

Final tip is that practice makes perfect, or in this case, more automatic. The first few times you practice your new habit builds connections in your brain from one neuron to the next, connecting trigger to response to outcome. That makes the next time you do your habit more automatic. 

How much practice does it take? While you may have heard it takes 21 days to establish a new habit, that’s actually on the lower end of the actual research data. When following people with a new daily health goal (like go for a walk after breakfast or eat fruits and veggies with every meal) automaticity is reached closer to 66 days on average, with a range between 18 to 254 days.

One of the keys to sustaining your efforts over 66+ days is to make the outcome of each repetition as satisfying as possible. The data shows that those people who feel positive emotions resulting from weight-loss or quit-smoking behaviors one day, are more likely to repeat those behaviors the next day compared to people who experience negative emotions. So even if your new habit makes you feel bad (like quitting caffeine), is there something you can reward yourself with that will link successful practice with a positive feeling? Maybe it’s an accountability buddy saying “great job!” or a sticker on the calendar, a square of dark chocolate or your favorite song on the stereo. 

Plan for failure

Achieving your goals, especially realizing really big long-term dreams, is hard. Life gets busy. Something happens to derail you. The Universe conspires against you. You go on a trip and your nice steady routine gets all messed up. Self doubt creeps in. Or heck, it’s rainy and you’re just not feeling it anymore. 

The key here is to plan for failure. What’s the most likely challenge or obstacle you will face? If that happens, what will you do?

For my health goal, most likely I’ll miss a day because of rain, a return to old bad habits, or sheer laziness. Psychologists call these “action slips”, and find that we’re more likely to slip when tired, distracted, or overwhelmed. Fortunately action slips are fairly easy to address. Research studies suggest that the impact of missing a day is negligible in the long run. Just get back on the wagon the next day. New day means a new chance to prove to myself that I’m a healthy middle aged woman who takes care of her body.

For my reading/writing goal, the most likely challenge is harder. What’s most likely to get in the way is another rejection from a publisher which chips away at my self-esteem. Yuck. Here’s where I need my support network. I have many coaching friends to help me feel my feelings all the way through. I enlisted the support of an amazing writing coach (thank you Tiffany Hawk) who is keeping me moving forward on my action plan. And I have the most wonderful agent (XOXO Kimberley Cameron) who continues to believe whole-heartedly in my book even when I falter.

Big goals, especially the really impactful, important ones, are best accomplished with the support of others. Who can you turn to? Who are your cheerleaders? Who will pick you up if you fall? 

(If you can’t think of anyone, or want a leadership coach in your corner this year, I’m here for you. See the GOING FURTHER section below of a menu of new offerings, or simply reach out anytime.)

READ MORE

For more tips and ideas about goal setting and habit change you can check out several of my other blog posts like “How to Realize an Impossible Dream” and “How to Write a Book One Tiny Habit at a Time”. 

Other favorite goal-setting resources include WOOP My Life and How to Begin by Michael Bungay Stanier. 

Some great books on habit change include Atomic Habits by James Clear and Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg. As far as research papers go, this 2013 review paper on habit formation by Phillippa Lally and Benjamin Gardner is surprisingly accessible. 

BOOK STUFF

Alan Lightman starts off our latest book club book with a profound experience communing with a pair of newly fledged osprey. I've had similar experiences that I can only describe as spiritual in nature (as a flock of birds parted around me in my kayak), with science (seeing neurons for the first time through my microscope), with people (at the Western Wall in Jerusalem).

The Transcendent Brain promises to answer questions like:

"I often wonder what it is that gives me a sense of myself, an ego, a self-awareness. Where does that sense come from? 

“How do thinking and emotion arise from mere atoms and molecules?"

"How can the material neurons in the human nervous system give rise to feelings of spirituality?”

Intrigued? I sure am! We meet on Zoom last Thursday of the month at 4 pm PST. 

GOING FURTHER

What are your goals for 2025 and how might you make them more purposeful and actionable? 

Option 1: Spend an hour with Tutti and I to turn your best intentions for 2025 into clear, actionable steps. We’re hosting a FREE online workshop on January 19th from noon - 1 pm. You’ll leave with a roadmap for the year and specific behaviors and mindsets to set you up for success in Q1. 

Option 2: Tutti and I are holding our annual Heroines Journey Retreat in April this year!

It's the perfect opportunity for creative dreaming, away from the daily stresses of leading our organizations and teams.

There’s a neuroscientific reason why restoration, upskilling, and connection is essential to exceptional leadership. In our everyday work, we primarily exercise an interconnected group of brain areas known as the executive attention network. This network helps us focus on, plan out, problem solve, and execute goal-directed actions. In contrast, creative thinking and insight requires the engagement of a different brain network, known as the default mode network. It's an entirely different set of brain areas that activate when your mind is resting, wandering, untethered, remembering, imaginative, and goal-free. This retreat is designed to activate both brain networks at once and thus rekindle the spark of creative insight. 

If you are an adventurous women looking to rekindle the passion and purpose that drew you to your work, you will want to join us this Spring! But don't just take our word for it. Here's what past retreaters have said...

“The Heroine’s Journey is a magical leadership retreat experience for those who seek to connect more deeply with themselves and reignite their inner spark. Tutti and Irene are warm, magnetic, and thoughtful designers who bringing to life an experience that is dynamic, adventurous, and soulful. I’m grateful to have been on this journey with them and the amazing group of women leaders and for the lasting relationships that came from this experience.”— Mallory Roth, Head of Coaching at Medley

“This retreat gave me the time and space to engage in deep personal growth and reflection. At the same time I felt a deep sense of community and made connections with incredible women who have so much warmth and wisdom. Tutti and Irene are fun and supportive facilitators who offer a wide variety of strategies to reflect.”— Miranda Thorman, Executive Director East Bay Innovation Academy

“The impact to time investment of this retreat is tremendous. I’m someone who has done a lot of growth work and in 3 days, you are transformed and taken to the next level. The days have divergence / convergence and give you opportunities to bring in a variety of issues and conflicts. The retreat blends the emotional, the cerebral, and the creative and you leave with tangible tools. Irene and Tutti continually push you to get out of your comfort zone and lead in a different way.”— Jennifer Mangold, Chief Innovation and Learning Officer at the UC Berkeley Fung Institute for Engineering Leadership

APPLY TODAY! Save $500! Early bird rate ends Jan 31.